VB's Column: Oh what a TANG-led web we weave...

 From the 'You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up' files... a woman here on Earth has accused her estranged astronaut wife of hacking into her bank account while the astronaut wife is currently working at ... THE INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION! And here I thought the plot to The Martian with Matt Damon was far-fetched! How soon before Hollywood makes this movie? They could call it The (Not Quite) Right Stuff...

  It's important to note that this is only an allegation (the astronaut wife denies the charge) and nothing has been proven as of yet. But let's think for just a second about the legal logistics involved in this story. After all, who exactly has jurisdiction over the International Space Station? Storm Troopers? Space CowboysThe Guardians of the Galaxy? And was anyone else involved in this plot; I mean, who were the Hidden Figures? Also, how did the astronaut wife remember earth wife's password? Did she have Total Recall? Usually in a case like this the accused's laptop would be confiscated as evidence, but in this case what's to stop the astronaut wife from 'accidentally' flushing the laptop out into space like Sigourney Weaver did to that Alien? And how does NASA get the astronaut wife back to Earth if she decides to defy the law like she's been defying Gravity? I mean, we're all hopeful for a peaceful resolution here, but it feels like we may be headed for Armageddon

  In the end, this much is certain: one of these women has gone to great lengths (252 miles above the Earth to be exact) to screw over the other. Either the astronaut wife said to herself, "I'll get up to the Space Station and then I'll hack into her account, no one will ever suspect me up there!" OR, the Earth wife said to herself, "I'll wait until she goes back to the Space Station, then I'll accuse her of hacking into my account from up there!" Whichever one conjured up the scheme, I'm guessing it wasn't their first idea, seems more like it was Plan 9 From Outer Space.

-VB The Wise

VB in the Middle

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