VB's Column: 'Bah Humbug' Barack

If I told you a POTUS was going to give us all a giant headache this Christmas, I'm fairly certain you'd say, "What did Trump do now?" But no, it was actually Barack Obama, not Donald Trump, who should have us all reaching for the Excedrin. And by "us" I mean "men". In case you missed it, this is what the 44th president told an audience in Singapore this past weekend, "Now women, I just want you to know; you are not perfect, but what I can say pretty indisputably is that you're better than us. I'm absolutely confident that for two years if every nation on earth was run by women, you would see improvement across the board on just about everything... living standards and outcomes." Thanks Obama.

  I mean, what are we men supposed to do with that when one of the women in our lives brings it up at the Christmas dinner table. And don't you doubt for a second that they will bring it up. "Oh it's already been broughten," as they say in Not Another Teen Movie.  I can already hear my mother-in-law sharpening her steak knife; not so she can carve the Christmas ham, but so she can carve me up with this quote. And what am I supposed to say when she asks me about Barack's quote? It's the equivalent of "does this Christmas dress make me look fat?" There's no good answer, not for me anyway. Thanks Obama.

  As near as I can tell, we men have three options when this scenario plays out at the dinner table: we can lie, we can attack, or we can deflect. The lie scenario won't work. As soon as I say, "he's right," the ladies at my table are going to jump ugly on me, "Oh no you don't. Don't pull that b.s. with us. You think he's wrong..." That leads to the attack option. Do I really want to pick a fight during Christmas dinner, and do I really want to talk about Elizabeth Warren, Nancy Pelosi, Melania etc. while I wait for my molten gingerbread cake to warm up? I look forward to that like I looked forward to assembling my kid's Hot Wheels garage last year. Which leads to my last option - deflection. "I can't believe the former President would gender micro-aggress like that," I might say. But based on how last year's "should radio stations stop playing Baby It's Cold Outside" conversation went, I'm going to need to steer clear of any gender aggression stuff this year. Thus, I have no good answer when this quote is brought up. And anyone who thinks staying silent is an option has never been asked, "Does this dress make me look fat?" Again, thanks Obama. 

Let's face it fellas, our best hope here is that the women in our lives somehow don't hear about Obama's comment. As long as some jerk doesn't write about it in the newspaper or blather about it on the radio, maybe we have a chance... Thanks VB.

Merry Christmas! 


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